Today a friend shared that her husband feels she is no longer “fun.”
Admittedly, she was taken back by the comment, then realized perhaps he was right. Afterall, she explained, “I’m Drill Sergeant Mom, Drill Sergeant Wife. Of course, I’m no fun!”
Sometimes it feels that most of our dialogue encompasses shout-outs, commands, dos, don’ts , have yous and did yous with our kids. It is easy to feel that our fun and spunk have been replaced by a spirit of seriousness and warfare mentality. We have to remember in those moments of frustration, our children are not our enemies and neither are our husbands.
My friend ended her story with the reminder that when we trust God, we can enjoy life right now. When we put our cares into God’s hands and trust Him to equip us at handling the challenges of the day, we are freer to have fun and capture that fun spirit that is a part of our identity as moms and wives (or that use to be more prevalent before we had kids or even in our single days). Knowing that when we trust God with the demands that weigh us down, we can be released from their hold and we do not have to carry the burdensome affects that can often permeate into our homes’ atmosphere.
Proverbs 31:25 talks about the Wife of Noble Character: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” She can laugh, she can embrace the moment of the days and the days that are forthcoming, with whatever challenges they bring. The passage continues with: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30) When we draw our strength from God, seek the Lord first, and place our trust in Him, I believe He expands on the gifts that He has given to us to bless our husbands, children, parents, families, clients, friends and households. Those gifts may also come in the form of having even stronger attributes: possessing wisdom, discernment, reliability, sensitivity, compassion, in addition to the skills that make us successful in our careers, pursuits and ministries. For in those characteristics that are continuously being strengthened in us, can result in love inside our homes and in our relationships, i.e., having children who cherish us and want to be in our company, a husband who is proud to be at our sides, who trusts in our judgment and appreciates our support. Powerful.
So the next time my friend is having a series of days where she is blowing her whistle, I know she is going to trust God with her cares by placing the whistle down, retiring her Sergeant’s uniform and perhaps grabbing a can of silly string or something to that effect to spray like crazy.
Her husband may just never know what hit him.
“An anxious heart weighs a man down. ” (Proverbs 12:25)
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
“I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” (Jeremiah 31:25)
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God.” (Psalm 42:11)
i can identify with the drill sergeant mom type, I’m afraid it happens more often than i care to admit. Really enjoy reading your articles, they remind me to loosen up and enjoy the little things more. keep up the inspiring work!!!
Michele Brown says
The timing of this post could not have been better. My friend, Shannon, and I were just talking to each other about this very subject earlier this week at our sons’ baseball game. We were sharing with each other that being a mother requires us to be constantly reinforcing family rules with our children. Many times it feels like that is all we are doing. The post was a nice reminder that we are not alone with this struggle and can rely on God to help us. And to remember to let it go sometimes and be silly with our children!
Well, I totally agree Linda and being the mom of a special needs child sometimes forces you to do even MORE drill sergeant stuff, as therapists give you lists of how to and what to do. You are constantly reminding, getting stern and giving out rewards, just like a drill sergeant! I LOVE the quote about the woman fearing the Lord and have written it down. In the past few weeks I have learned to put trust in the Lord more than trust in my circumstances—very difficult to do, but necessary if we want peace, every day, in every moment!!! It’s a work in progress but I’m trying!!! I just take a deep breath and say HERE, YOU TAKE THIS WORRY LORD and hand it up to Him and then let HIM work it all out. We can’t control everything, why do we think we can? 🙂 It’s the mom-itis of running a household, so THANKS for reminding us Linda, that we do not have to be drill sergeant all the time!!! I’m going to try to remember that!!
I can appreciate you having more drill sergeant clipboards, Paula! Here’s to your continuing to uphold and teach your son values, principles and lessons in conduct while bringing in the laughter and fun. And I love that you are trusting in the Lord, not your circumstances, for circumstances will change, but the Lord is unchanging, faithful and trustworthy. It is a daily practice, but that’s all we really have anyway, isn’t it? We have today, and if we’re like you, have lots of clipboards and pens!
Yes, we’ve got to be silly while still enforcing and talking through family rules, principles and values…those teachings should never be compromised. When we recognize the need to be balanced in our approaches and remember to bring in the fun, we can hopefully maintain both. Thanks, Michele!
I have been amazed at the time that I remembered to relax, have fun, be silly how much it helped the attitude of the whole family. I have been even more amazed how staying in the Word and relying on God help me to be full of the joy I need to be a great mom. Thanks for the post!
Thanks Helene, for your comments. It’s amazing how when we hit the pause button and choose to respond differently from what our insides tell us, how joyful things can be. And to your point, staying in the word and relying on God is key in being a great mom which I bet you are!