Our marriages have an identity of their own but they do not operate exclusively without our active help and contribution. There is often little time to feed our marriages….as busy moms and working women, we are all about the time sensitive and urgent. The things that are the most timely and important, receive our focus….could be anything from driving the kids to their activities, to feeding the baby to getting the next meal on the table.
Last weekend my husband and I attended a Weekend to Remember Marriage conference sponsored by Family Life Today. I left thinking that just because our marriage isn’t attached to a gas pedal, stove or homework assignment, its existence is still in need of immediate care and attention…like all the other aspects of our lives that call for our time and receive it. Not only can our homes and children fall prey to the unhealthy effects of a marriage that doesn’t have unity at its foundation, but the marriage ultimately will and the two people if not cared for in the right ways. The marriage relationship is easily neglected in the ways that are meaningful and significant, and often, is left to fend for itself. How can the relationship that should take priority over all the others be at the bottom of the list in terms of what is getting my time and attention?
Today, my kids will make it to their gymnastics class after school. Dinner will be prepared. Dishes cleaned. Homework finished. Baths, teeth, stories and prayers done and said. Will demonstrating respect and support to my husband? Will an attitude of unconditional respect and honor be demonstrated? Words of gratitude said? Perhaps words of silence if I need to hold my tongue? Will forgiveness be sought and granted if an issue arises? Will I pursue oneness with my husband and seek God’s design for my marriage and model that for my children?
“A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” (Proverbs 14:1)