Our marriages have an identity of their own but they do not operate exclusively without our active help and contribution. There is often little time to feed our marriages….as busy moms and working women, we are all about the time sensitive and urgent. The things that are the most timely and important, receive our focus….could be anything from driving the kids to their activities, to feeding the baby to getting the next meal on the table.
Last weekend my husband and I attended a Weekend to Remember Marriage conference sponsored by Family Life Today. I left thinking that just because our marriage isn’t attached to a gas pedal, stove or homework assignment, its existence is still in need of immediate care and attention…like all the other aspects of our lives that call for our time and receive it. Not only can our homes and children fall prey to the unhealthy effects of a marriage that doesn’t have unity at its foundation, but the marriage ultimately will and the two people if not cared for in the right ways. The marriage relationship is easily neglected in the ways that are meaningful and significant, and often, is left to fend for itself. How can the relationship that should take priority over all the others be at the bottom of the list in terms of what is getting my time and attention?
Today, my kids will make it to their gymnastics class after school. Dinner will be prepared. Dishes cleaned. Homework finished. Baths, teeth, stories and prayers done and said. Will demonstrating respect and support to my husband? Will an attitude of unconditional respect and honor be demonstrated? Words of gratitude said? Perhaps words of silence if I need to hold my tongue? Will forgiveness be sought and granted if an issue arises? Will I pursue oneness with my husband and seek God’s design for my marriage and model that for my children?
I better.
“A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” (Proverbs 14:1)
How often we need this reminder! Life gets so busy that it’s easy to take our spouses for granted. It helps a lot to get away together. I love Family Life and all they do for marriages!
Wow Linda, you hit my nail on the head 🙂 Thanks for the inspiration and reminder of things that need to be attended to and are so easy to neglect in the name of “what needs to be done right now”
I totally agree with you Linda. I have been making time to read Power of a Praying Spouse and praying the prayers at the end of each chapter, I am trying to do that nightly. It’s important to make time for date night and to connect during the day too (often, my husband is at a busy job and we do not even speak all day and he gets home very late since his commute is far)—we have recently discovered that emailing is sometimes better than connecting by phone because we can each do it when we are free, and the connection is not lost for the day. There are so many ways to connect nowadays–text, email, phone and in person—Linda is right in that there really is no excuse not to try to make contact with the one person God put us with to be the next best relationship next to Him. My wish is for everyone to realize, without even attending a weekend workshop, just how important the marriage relationship is, both in the eyes of God and for ourselves, and that they give it the proper care and attention it needs in order to be healthy. We must feed our bodies to keep healthy, we must also feed our marriages to keep it going too. God will help us with this task, for sure!!!!
This is truly important! Busy lives lived by the power of the urgent, sacrifice the everyday needs. If we were to be too busy to eat, our bodies would scream the hunger. Yet perhaps we ignore the inner screams of our relational needs and that of our husband’s, as we fill our lives in caring for our children and related urgencies, in turn taking our spouses for granted. Thank you for the reminder to actively and intentionally “feed our marriages,” Linda.