I think the days that I struggle with my identity most of all, are the days when I am going through the motions of “doing.” Doing the laundry, doing the cleaning, doing the routine picking up, doing the mundane and not doing, selfishly, what I would like to be doing…because doing what I like to do, helps me feel more like me.
I am learning that when I don’t start my day with prayer, my attitude is really not doing well. Subsequently, the domino chain can fall faster than a lit match burning through paper. If I am not doing well, then guess who else doesn’t do so well? My husband. My kids. My home.
My attitude can help strengthen or weaken the spirit of my family and I can easily rob them of the nourishment they need by a single response or word. In order to protect my kids and husband from the attitudes that can besiege me, I need to make sure I am nourished and starting each day with prayer. And in that prayer, it is acceptable to ask, “Lord, how would you use me today? How would you have me use my time? I would really love to do _____, can you show me what you have for me? Can you help stretch my time? Can you give me wisdom in knowing how to manage my time and all that I need to do against all that I want to do?” How would our days look and what would our attitudes be if we approached our days with this submission and willingness to be directed?
So yes, there are things I want to get done…things I want to finish, and God knows that. There are also things God wants to get done in me and accomplish through me, my family and the people in my circle who might be affected by my attitude. So before I get caught up in the disappointment of not doing, I need to make sure I get started with the praying. Only then will my attitude be the right one…not just for my benefit, but for the Lord’s, my family’s and for whomever He chooses to put on my path.
“In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” (Psalm 5:3)
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)